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A hustle has been overextension for weeks on the Web. Headlines like: “Judy Announces She Is Abrogation the ‘Judge Judy’ Show.”

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LIE! CON! FLIMFLAM DAMN SHAM!

I had banquet with Judge Judy and her husband, Judge Jerry, Monday night, hours afterwards the Internet regurgitated what got labeled “The New York Times,” “Today,” “O Magazine,” “Stylewatch” and “Redbook.”

Friends, ancestors and admirers of Judy Sheindlin accept accomplished out to banderole these horrible, affected sites that may accord your apparatus a virus with one click. Judy’s arrangement and attorneys are already unleashed. It’s a con job. It said she’s abrogation her top-rated, 10 actor circadian viewers, daytime’s best No. 1 program, 23 record-breaking seasons, “to accompany her new skincare band and dream.”

BUNK! JUNK! SKUNK GUNK!

Beware of any Web armpit that says, “Sponsors pay millions to acquaint . . . [they’re] bent because she bootless to acknowledge her massive skincare authority to CBS . . . which is absolutely a HUGE adversary to the show’s sponsor L’Oréal because Judy’s artefact is bisected the bulk and alert as able as their aggressive product.”

She’s pictured on “TV” discussing her “wildly accepted anti-aging skincare line,” which “she spent the accomplished two years developing” and that her “highly almighty and able anti-aging articles . . . awash out aural ten minutes” and that now “plastic surgeons are award it harder to book patients.”

P.S. It’s B.S. NO SKINCARE LINE EXISTS. NO NOTHING ZERO NADA NIENTE NISHT.

Headlines adduce Barbara Walters — who didn’t apperceive whatthehellthis was — praising it. Also Vanna White, Sherri Shepherd, Meredith Vieira and Rosie O’Donnell burbling, “With [Judy’s cream] I deathwatch up attractive adolescent and added radiant.” Yeah. Right. Lotsaluck.

Offering a chargeless trial, the bear gimmick is: “The alone affair you’ll charge to pay for is the discounted aircraft rate, which is beneath than $6! . . . act bound . . . there’s alone a bound bulk of chargeless samples.”

It’s absent dog poo. FAKE. CRAPOLA. MERDE.

The FBI — hardly on our Russian kerfuffle — hears Moscow ability relabel the goo attributed to Judge Judy.

It’ll apprehend Commissar Katerinachenkovitch-drek.

Oscar-nominated “Black Swan” administrator Darren Aronofsky, who produced “Jackie,” and “White Boy Rick” — may his blazon access — produced a civic Get Out the Vote video with added Instagram, Twitter, Facebook promotion. It appearance activists for aboriginal rights, immigrant rights, rights for the disabled, altitude justice, transgender equality, gun control, etc.

Darren: “First-timers appulse elections. We’re alive with them so in November, the 18-to-20s who rarely participate will vote their issues, affect added candid communities and be heard by those who’ve abandoned our country’s future.”

Thirty Mad Ave. aliment aural 12 blocks are dark. Gone. Out. Closed. Empty. Harrys of London aloof slid into a 57th and Park men’s shoe store. Joseph Fiennes and tennis’ Novak Djokovic abrasion them. Common flashed his to Jimmy Fallon. They alpha at $395. The soles are alleged whatever’s Technogel.

You can’t accumulate a acceptable book down. I apprehend that Bill O’Reilly’s “Killing the SS” awash 140,000 copies aboriginal six canicule out . . . Can’t accumulate Tyrannosaurus Tyra down. December Tyra Banks is aback as Eve in the blur “Life-Size 2” . . . And Emmy-winning actor Tiffany Haddish is accomplishing “The Oath,” a abusive cine about alliance presidential adherence . . . Actress Sachi Parker on her mom, Shirley MacLaine: “I can’t be told ‘dress this way’ or ‘look like that.’ I accept to be me. I can’t BS myself.”

Soho restaurant joke: A sandwich walks into a cafe.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve aliment in here.”

Only in New York, kids, alone in New York.

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