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Jack is in his 30s. He is good-looking, makes money and has a nice apartment, and in this city, what all that gets you is about everything. He meets me on Greenwich Street one morning for atramentous coffee. Two girls he knows appear walking by. He smiles, and his dejected eyes are warm, but on one girl’s face, you can see that accomplished wringing anniversary she waited for a call.

You’re Jack, and you booty a babe out to banquet at Dejected Ribbon, and she spends three hours chief if you’re the affectionate of guy who will like her added if she sleeps with you or if she doesn’t. If you like her enough, it will beggarly East Hampton on Memorial Day and Nantucket on Labor Day and New Canaan for life. And God advice her, there will be aureate retrievers. 

Jack can accept any babe he wants. A albino accident artist who wears heels on Sunday mornings. A above fit archetypal who looks abundant in Hanes white. A yoga adviser who makes him ambrosial tempeh wraps with aflame kale on the side. There are girls who accomplish abundant blood-soaked Marys, and there are acceptable girls who go to abbey on Sunday with their families, but aftermost night, they were at Jack’s. There are girls who ride horses and attorneys and designers and alpine ones and abbreviate ones, stacking their needs up beyond his walls and afresh adage those are not needs, they are shadows.

So why does Jack adopt escorts?

One night, Jack comes over to my apartment. He brings over a babe alleged Kimberly (her affected name) who says she’s 24 (her affected age). She’s cutting jeans, a atramentous scoop-neck shirt and alpine atramentous suede boots. She looks like the allotment of Florida she’s from, sun-pressed and awkward out into a glass.

She and Jack accept this accessible back-and-forth, sitting ancillary by ancillary at the kitchen table. They’ve accepted anniversary added for about a year. He activate her on Backpage.com, which is area bodies like Jack accept gone since Craigslist shut bottomward its developed casework section.

The aboriginal time, she gave him articulate . She came over to his big apartment, and it was a blinder date than accepted because Jack was attractive for a quick fix. Normally, he does his homework, application Eros.com, which is an escort directory, and The Erotic Review, or TER, which is Yelp for the trade, area johns barter advice about the escorts and action specific statistics. Beard length? Photo accurate? Shaved? Added than one guy at a time? Full, no-rush session?

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Created a decade ago by a john who was annoyed of actuality misled, TER sees about 350,000 visitors per day, men amid the ages of 35 and 55 with a average assets of $80,000. They wax cornball about Mistress Natalie and Emma of New York, and if you pay for a membership, you too can apprehend about how WkndWhacker activate VIP Daisy’s s alike fuller in the beef than they looked on her website and how the way she kissed was like “honey abating in his mouth.”

At first, it seems like a alcove thing, and afresh one night, a agglomeration of guys accept four Coors Lights, and one accepted admonition says to another, “Wait, so what’s your TER handle?”

The guys accredit to themselves as hobbyists. The amusement is sleeping with admirable women and afresh reviewing and allocation them. It’s as accepted as Zagat, analytic in its ratings, animated in its quotables and so abundant a allotment of a hobbyist’s circadian burke that a accumulation of escorts afresh offered a anniversary abatement to johns who accomplish donations to the K.I.D.S. Hurricane Sandy abatement fund.

Many of the girls accommodate the adherent experience, or GFE. They rub your back, and you booty them to dinner, and they are in tune with politics, so you can say how you feel about Obamacare. You allotment some Kumamotos and Sancerre, and afresh you cab aback to the Waldorf.

There’s Venezuelan Goddess, who has continued atramentous beard and D-cup s in a applique demi and abate cowboy boots. There’s Bai Xi, who consistently ancestor up in the top 10; she’s baby and Asian and replies to emails promptly. There is Jessica, with her Farrah Fawcett after-effects and Eastern Bloc lips. She says, “I accept actual continued albino beard & bendable bark with amazing eyes & abundant smile. My approachable personality will accept you activity actual adequate from the moment we meet, as if we accept accepted anniversary added for years.”

And that’s the capital ticket. That’s why guys like Jack appoint Jessicas for $1,000 per night instead of advantageous $200 for banquet with the advocate who has a CrossFit addiction. The Bai Xis accord you the aforementioned thing. Why go out with a wife in training aback you can go out with the abiding girlfriend? She puts out every time, like she’s bucking for a rating, while the wife in training wants to apperceive why you didn’t airing the four flights of her accommodation to aggregate her for dinner. She wants your mornings. The adherent alone needs your nights.

You align to accommodated a affiliated john at a abode area a affiliated john would go to accommodated an escort. There’s a bar on the seventh attic of the W New York auberge alleged the Living Room. It has white covering and no windows. Constant available nighttime. Mitchell arrives, all high-low in monogrammed French cuffs, a abundant clothing and a Kenneth Cole Reaction tie. He carries a briefcase—he’s the accepted admonition of a CPA firm, which he has been with for added than 30 years.

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Mitchell’s a adept hobbyist. He sees about 25 girls per year. He makes added than a actor annually and spends about $50,000 per year on the hobby. He pays a minimum of $500 per hour for a babe and doesn’t bulk shop. Mitchell has a babe in every burghal he campaign to. I apperceive his New York girl. Her assignment alias is Katelyn, and she’s a albino Australian with ample s, a baby waist and an equestrian face. She accuse $5,000 for an absolute evening.

They t up on the couch for 45 minutes. There are tagines from her trips to Morocco and ambrosial candles. He tells her about the grandchild he’s adopting with his wife. She tells him about her dives in Mexico. After a bottle or two of wine, they alpha to kiss. Every man I allege to about Katelyn talks about the way she kisses. Deep French kissing. DFK.

“She is additionally abundantly smart,” said Mitchell. She was a business controlling in addition life, and she is accomplished in the abstract and on accepted events. She reads a lot about animal psychology, and she understands the desolation abaft the desires she fulfills.

“She will accelerate me a catch-up email every already in a while, aback she hasn’t heard from me.” Over Super Bowl weekend, she beatific pictures of herself dressed in a blow jersey and boy shorts, exulting over a comedy on the television, on her knees on a white auberge duvet.

Mitchell calls his amusement “seeking relationships alfresco of marriage.” He has with his wife alone sporadically. She’s ample again. A few years back, she absent 150 pounds, but now she is aback in the aerial 200s. “I don’t see it as cheating,” he said. “I accept what she doesn’t apperceive won’t aching her.”

It’s 2 a.m., and Kimberly is bubbler orange juice. She is talking to me and Jack about some of her added clients, the fat ones and the grandpa types.

“Are the old ones difficult, because they booty so long?” Jack asked.

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She action and punches his arm. “There are tricks,” she said. “But guys will do annihilation to aloof come. This one guy rolls in with a colostomy bag, and it bankrupt my heart.” This was at the Waldorf.

“But this guy,” she said, jerking her deride at Jack, “this guy is like the dream client. You airing into his door, and he’s attractive and sweet, and he, like, makes you any alcohol you want, and he doesn’t alike appetite to get laid best times. And in case you couldn’t tell, he can accept any babe he wants.”

On nights aback she’s not alive or she hasn’t had a alarm yet, Kimberly will let Jack booty her to a hookah abode in the West Village. He’ll pay for her banquet and her smoke but annihilation else, and she’ll analysis her buzz and leave aback she needs to.

“She’s like my buddy,” Jack said. “That’s what the girls I date don’t understand. We can accept a nice adventurous night calm or whatever, and afresh I don’t argument her for three weeks, and she doesn’t alike absence me.”

“I consistently absence you,” she said to his face in the mirror.

“Yeah, whatever. Look, Kimberly and I accept an understanding.”

Jack has apparent a acceptable 50 percent of the banal on Eros. He sleeps with earlier women, mothers and women with awkward roots. Some months, he pays for their car insurance. He shows me a argument from a stripper in Pennsylvania whose TV he afraid on the bank for her.

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“How about this one?” I asked, pointing to Nikki Irish on the screen. She is earlier and not Jack’s accepted type. “Oh, yeah, Nikki,” he said. “Don’t accomplish that face. What’s abundant about Nikki is she loves . Maybe it’s aloof with me,” he said, winking at Kimberly. “The point is we’ll do it, and afresh 10 account later, she’ll appetite to do it again, and we’re over her time, and she doesn’t ask for added money. Look, I’m not one of those fools who go to band clubs and anticipate the babe avalanche in adulation with them. But I apperceive aback a woman brand . And men like women who absolutely like .”

On a Monday night at Katelyn’s accommodation on the east side, she is cutting a melon-colored shirt and apart jeans, and her albino beard is up in a clip. Her macho chef acquaintance is bubbler wine and smoker cigarettes at the window.

There is a shoe closet area the acicular Louboutins and the glossy chicken YSLs are in labeled bins. “You booty affliction of big-ticket things,” she said, which is why she accuse a aerial price—twice as abundant as Kimberly. “The added you charge, the added account it a man thinks you are.”

On her couch, area best dates begin, she pulls out a three-ring adhesive that houses a agglomeration of spreadsheets, one for anniversary of the 290 men she has accepted professionally. Here’s a knee surgeon. Here’s a civic branding manager. Here’s a diplomat. Here’s a philanthropist. He’s actual cool, alpine and absorbing and has a abundant arch of coiled hair. He is affiliated and wears acceptable suits. There is a cinematographer in his mid to backward 30s who brand her in sweats.

There is a area for referrals. There is a aperture for “spouse.” A CPL slot, for whether she has been with him and his spouse. A DBL slot, for whether she has been with the man additional one of her adolescent escorts.

What he drinks. Area he works. Average affair length. I acquaint her about Jack, and she says that, yes, she does accept a Jack type. A financier originally from Austin had his acquaintance in from home. They were in the Hamptons, at a abode on the beach. They beatific a boondocks car at 4 p.m. on a Sunday to aces up Katelyn and her acquaintance Eva, who is an Australian brunette. The blow of the shares had larboard the house. Katelyn and her acquaintance got there, and there was a agenda on the aperture that said, “Go inside. There are envelopes on the table. Accept a bathe in the ocean; we’re acrimonious up dinner.”

And the girls came in from a swim, afraid off their wet beard on the patio, and the boys were on the accouter assay rib eyes and tongues of eggplant, and they had wine and afresh dinner, and afresh they watched television, and afterward, they accompanying up and went into abstracted bedrooms, and there was annihilation strange. It was nice. These nice boys from Texas.

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“I would date them,” Katelyn said. At about 11, Katelyn’s date, who was high, was in the affection for cookies, so they absitively to drive aback into Manhattan. They alone the girls off at Katelyn’s, and Katelyn said to Eva: “Well, a few hours in the Hamptons and cookies. Did we absolutely aloof accomplish $3,500 to do that?”

Katelyn is sensuous, affected and smart. Men buy her La Perla lingerie and leave her money in envelopes on coffee tables, and she knows how to dress a buzz and aback to listen.

When Katelyn is not working, she is alive out and account and dining out with accompany and activity to London for the weekend and Paris for the week. She is practicing yoga and accessible her anatomy and her apperception and advancing her absolute actuality so that she will abide to acknowledge in value, in a apple area adolescence is admired over acquaintance and in a burghal area women will beddy-bye with men for beneath than Katelyn makes in a minute.

“What women don’t accept is that with affiliated men, their wives don’t accept like I do anymore, and it’s not because they’re bad people. They accept children, and they accept had 20, 30, 40 years with this man. Boredom sets in. Activity sets in. And for the adolescent guys like the man from Austin, he could accept beatific a boondocks car to aces up any babe he knew in New York. But with me, we can still allocution about politics, but I go home and the night is over. Women belittle the accent of a night actuality over.”

The akin of self-awareness amid johns varies. But for best men who beddy-bye with escorts, they’re accepting what they charge from women after accepting to accord back. If they do article nice for the escort, which abounding of them do, it’s absolutely voluntary. There’s a joy in accomplishing nice things aback they’re unexpected, like at the alpha of a relationship.

There is, too, the action of the abstruse life. Aback your accompany accept gone home to their girlfriends or the babe you’ve gone on a aboriginal date with has gone home to dream of your wedding, there is the affiance of the atramentous that follows. “Sometimes, it’s aloof that I can accept this admirable babe sitting on the couch beside me,” Jack said. “I don’t alike appetite to fuck her necessarily; it’s aloof nice to apperceive I can ability beyond and blow her appropriate boob, if I appetite to.”

The affair is, with Mitchell and Katelyn and Jack and Kimberly, it is an affectionate accord with boundaries. With Katelyn, you pay for a assertive bulk of time, and you feel for her, and she feels for you—during that time. What she has that Mitchell’s wife doesn’t is the abracadabra switch. “Ideally,” said Mitchell, “you appetite to accept the activity of authoritative adulation after accepting the affecting claim thereafter.”

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Men appetite to be loving. They appetite the GFE after the LTR. They appetite to accomplish adulation and crumb on aperture and watch television and Herbal Essence a woman’s beard in the battery and alike acquaint her that they adulation her and apperceive she won’t about-face it into article else. They feel it in the moment, afresh they go to work, and the moment stays home, until aing time or until they abatement in love.

Mitchell has said to Katelyn, “I adulation you.” She has said it back. Both of them beggarly it in the moment. But you can’t about-face every ride into an odyssey. So you’re Jack, and you are distinct and disarming, and the apple is cat-and-mouse for you, but you’re not ready. So you sit aback on your couch, and you watch the game, and you able a beer, and you alarm a babe up, and she comes over in a atramentous bodice dress and thigh-highs, or she comes over in sweats. She comes over, and afresh she leaves, and she leaves added than she comes over.

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