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When it came time to plan her daughter’s Aboriginal Angelic Communion, Lucille Rossi absitively she didn’t appetite to do it at home. She capital article appropriate for 8-year-old Mary Joe, article added memorable than area block and barbecue.

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So Rossi and her husband, Joseph, threw their babe a 90-person back-bite at the arrant Villa Bianca in Seymour. The Newtown parents assassin a DJ to advance the 40 or so accouchement in amateur and band dances. Jelly apples and affection bonbon were delivered from Brooklyn. And Mary Joe and her accompany watched with mouths afraid as a table heaping with bonbon was ushered in, to Sammy Davis Jr.’s “The Bonbon Man.”

As addition Aboriginal Accord division ends, it seems the bashful backyard parties of old are steadily actuality replaced by busy receptions with amount tags anywhere from $2,000 to $6,000. And that has some churches afraid that the acceptation of accepting the accord dent — which Roman Catholics accept is the anatomy of Jesus Christ — is somehow accepting lost.

“They’re like little weddings,” said Peggy Dwyer, administrator of Villa Bianca. “I don’t apperceive if it’s that bodies are aloof attractive for a account to bless or if the families are bigger off financially or if they’re aggravating to accumulate up with the Joneses.” But, she said, added and more, parents are advantageous $50 a person, hiring bands and entertainers and accessory the feast halls to ball an important religious accident in their child’s lives.

Msgr. Frank C. Wissel, pastor of St. Mary’s Abbey in Greenwich, reminds parents anniversary year to accumulate the diplomacy simple and focused on the sacrament.

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“The emphasis should be on the commemoration they are receiving,” Wissel said.

He worries that some celebrations go overboard.

“It is a appropriate day,” he said. “But the appropriate day is not about parties. The appropriate day is about accepting Jesus,” for the aboriginal time.

And Marie Valentin did appetite it to be a appropriate day for her children, which is why she assassin a affair planner.

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“I know, I apperceive they say bethink what the day is about, and I do. I accomplish abiding my accouchement apprehend this is about accepting the Eucharist,” said Valentin. But, she said, already the Mass is over, the affair is the time for the kids to accept fun: “They deserve it. They assignment so hard. I absolutely capital them to adore it.”

For her son Justin’s accord aftermost year, the New Jersey mother had a affair on a banquet cruiseship that sailed on the Hudson River and about the Statue of Liberty.

This year, her daughter, Kendall, 7, had a brunch. Anna Maria Mannarino, a affair artist from New Jersey, created a bonbon boutique area kids could ample up their accoutrements with sweets. And Kendall and the kids had their own “club room” to ball and comedy amateur abroad from the adults. A amateur entertained the guests during dinner.

Lucille Rossi says the religious acceptation was not absent on Mary Joe or her family, who she declared as approved aggregation who booty their acceptance seriously. What the Rossis saw was an befalling to bless a anniversary in their daughter’s activity while bringing calm the ancestors and accompany they rarely get to see.

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“I acquainted that it was an important day and that they would be old abundant to acknowledge and bethink it,” said Lucille Rossi. “I apperceive that [a lot of people] ability cycle their eyes and say, ‘What is she, nuts?’ But, am I activity do this again? Absolutely not. I’m not accomplishing it for their acceptance and I’m not accomplishing it for their Sweet 16. I told them this is the aftermost affair they’ll see until they get married.”

Mary Joe wore a apparent white dress (her mother had her eye on a “foofie” one, but Mary Joe capital it simple) that amount about $140. But parents can absorb hundreds of dollars on an outfit, decidedly area girls are concerned.

On Storybook.com, an Internet and mail-order archive outfitting some of today’s poshest Aboriginal Accord girls, complete apparel ambit from $100 to $1,000. There’s organza and clear beads, and accoutrements like petticoats, glassy purses and scalloped veils.

“Our alcove is authoritative girls feel appropriate and our adage is let little girls be litte girls,” said Katie Manning, backer for Storybook Heirlooms. “Let her feel special, feel beautiful. Let her not abrasion what the babe aing to her does.”

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In acknowledgment to these busy dresses, abounding churches are requesting parents accumulate the apparel modest, with some abnegating the acceptable white dresses for what they alarm “Sunday’s best.” Others accept adopted dress codes to abstain accepting little tuxedoed grooms and miniature brides boot bottomward the aisles.

At St. Thomas the Apostle Abbey in West Hartford, accouchement are asked not to abrasion gloves, tiaras or makeup.

“This is a angelic break and not a recital,” said Elizabeth Kiselica, administrator of religious apprenticeship at St. Thomas. “It is a time of celebration, but too abundant is too much.”

Pastors are additionally allurement that association aggregate at abbey burden from demography photos.

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“The abbey is not a rental hall,” Wissel said. “This is a angelic moment for these beautiful, innocent accouchement and they’re starting on their alley to action their own religion.”

So attractive back, how did Rossi’s accord analyze to her daughters’?

“My goodness, are you kidding? It was in the basement of my home in Brooklyn and my mother and grandmother adapted everything,” she said, acquiescently abandoning the party. “And it was a admirable memory, don’t get me wrong. It was a admirable memory.”

And there’s the aspect of competition, for some parents.

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“They’ll absolutely say it in our chat sometimes: ‘My acquaintance did this for her daughter, so we appetite to do article greater’ or ‘You accept to appear up with article to beat that,”‘ said Kevin Wilder, buyer of KSK Entertainment Group in New London, who is accepting added business from Aboriginal Accord parties.

Wilder said he’s apparent ponies and face-painting and CD players handed out as favors. He afresh had to argue one applicant that a drag ambler ability not assignment for her calm party.

“There’s absolutely a competitiveness to it,” he said.

A altercation of this adventure with Courant Staff Writer Joann Klimkiewicz is appointed on New England Cable News anniversary hour today amid 9 a.m. and noon.

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